Are you surprised to hear that?
Well, August 2013, I had my first girlfriend and I must confess, I still do not know why I asked her out. I hope she has truly forgiven me.
Well, maybe it was because I knew she wanted me to ask her. I mean, she had given me the green light. She spent all summer holiday with me, invited me to come see her mom, kept in touch even when we were out of sight and the one that got me thinking, she telling me boldly, ‘I am waiting for you’.
Maybe I felt I had to reward her for being there, thinking that if I do not, I would be a terrible heartbreaker even before starting a relationship. Or maybe I felt, perhaps it was time to stop being single, time to get someone in my life, someone available, and she was available. Honestly, whatever be the reason that I thought I had, the truth remains that I never really had a reason.
You see, most problems faced in a relationship boil down to one simple truth: we really do not have a reason why we are in it, not to mention why we think or say we like someone or love someone.
If we can be honest, ‘He makes me smile’ or ‘She makes me happy’ is really not good reason enough to make you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. What if the person losses the ability to make you smile, what happens next? Okay, if you are thinking how and why you cannot be with someone that makes you smile all the time, then I guess comedians and stage actors should have a continent full of different partners for themselves. Even comedians and stage actors who are married know that it takes more than just having a funny bone to be with someone.
Let us be honest, some of us are with someone simply because we feel aroused by their presence. Weird right?
I know a few in this category. Those who for some weird reasons just feel they have to be with someone because they feel sexually attracted to that person. Some are with someone because ‘she is the most beautiful thing on earth’ or ‘he is good looking’ or for some weird reasons that I cannot even begin to imagine, and I am left wondering if they really sat down to consider the very important thing of all, which is ‘How can this person complete me?’.
Nothing. Nothing at all.
Nobody was born complete and that is the truth. Nobody was made perfect, that is why there is always someone for someone. The first and most basic question to ask yourself is ‘What do I need?’, before ‘Who do I need?’.
But how can we ask and answer this question correctly when we do not even know who we are.
In another post, I will write more about this.